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Gifting Culture - Time for a Change?

 

I recently had a birthday, so it feels timely to post on this topic. Gifting has changed in my family over the years already. My brother and I no longer exchange gifts (with our spouses either), but we do give gifts to our nephews. This year my mom suggested that we stop birthday gifts, and I was definitely on board with that; she did still send me a card though.

With an increase in consumerism and disposable income, I find that we often don't know what to buy for a gift, because people already 'have everything'. Over the years this has led me to focus on asking for and giving experience/consumable gifts when I can. We do still buy things that our kids need or want, but we also try to not overdo it. 

Gifts are meant to tell the person that you were thinking of them, so it's strange to think that they've become somewhat mandatory with certain holidays. We do feel that the conversations with friends have been easy and we often ask for no gifts at our children's birthday parties, much to their chagrin. 

I'm not saying that you should feel guilty about gift giving, or that you need to stop. I ask that you do it intentionally and also have conversations with your friends/family so that you know their thoughts/expectations about gifting too. 

I'd like to see a focus on meaning, not material: I don't need someone to spend money on me to know that they care. Some people are also great at up-cycling, thrifting, and shopping locally to reduce their environmental impact. 

Gifts might be your love language, they aren't mine. I know that I do enjoy finding little gifts for others though, so it can be a complicated topic for sure. This year on my birthday, my husband and kids all gave me experience gifts (and chocolate), so now I get to look forward to one-on-one time, creating memories, with each of them. For me, that is way better than an item I don't need/want (or have to find a place for/clean).

When I do give gifts, I try to have them be consumable, be that tea, coffee, chocolate, candy, etc. or something small like a game I think they'd enjoy. I'm sure no one wants their gift to add stress or be a burden for the recipient.

We are used to the tradition of giving gifts at birthdays, Christmas, possibly even Valentine's Day, Easter, etc. I just ask that we stop and consider if there is a different way, a way that could work better for our group, a way that still shows the specialness of the holiday/person. This may require some brain re-wiring and creativity, but I know it's something I want to continue to focus on. This also plays into my current interest in mindfulness and intentional living :)

What do you think?


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