*This was written at the start of summer, but I am only now getting around to posting it :)
My son and I recently set out to find the Bay Area Young Survivors Breast Cancer Memorial Garden in Golden Gate Park. I knew it existed and had just been opened.
I think it's great that BAYS was able to create this Memorial Garden with the help of San Francisco Recreation and Parks Department. It doesn't feel like a small thing, it feels quite large (in my heart anyway). It is the first public memorial of its kind in the USA. They have done a BIG thing by doing this 'small' thing as a way of remembrance and creating a place of connection. We did love the design and the ability for people to leave flowers.
I enjoyed the location, the views, the benches, the quotes. However, it did bring up questions from my then seven year old: "Why is breast cancer so popular?" "Why isn't your name here?" So we continue to have harsh realities and have hard conversations, although I still think my kids don't really grasp it all, and I'm kind of glad for that. As much as I can't erase the image burned in my brain of me during chemo, they seem to have forgotten that I was bald or 'sick'. In their eyes, a person can get cancer, get treatment, and continue on with their life.
I have my physical scars, although I try to make them less obvious or hide them. They will always be there and will be a part of me and my journey. I will take my daughter to see the garden and am happy to know it exists. For me, though, I currently prefer to keep moving forward. I feel I have enough reminders (my short hair, my scars, my appointments, my medication) of my experience. It's nice to know that there are others out there, but it's also a club that I never wanted to join. Every day, I make food and exercise choices to keep it from coming back, but at this point, I prefer to distance myself from it. Eventually, I hope this blip in my life will feel small.
Thank you BAYS for creating a beautiful space in our beautiful city and park!
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